Let me tell you what LOVE is
Before I explain, let me tell you that I am not expert on love. I probably have no idea what the definition of love is. But I can tell you how I’ve managed to make it work. I’m not only referring to a significant man in my life, but I’m talking about every person that exists within reach of my life. I’m talking about your love for your goals and aspirations. I’m talking about your love for life.
We all have created and customized a specific and desired life for us. I used to be that girl that demanded for things to be MY way. I used to have this prominent, annoying and critical attitude when things deviated out of plan, out of my plan. I’m not going to lie, I sometimes STILL can be like that, but after many realizations and many lessons learned, I’ve trained myself to change and be different. There is no point in dwelling over things you cannot control. There is no point crying over spilled milk.
One thing I’ve always been, is that I’ve always been a giving person. I always sacrificed my needs just to fulfill the people I care about’s needs. What I did NOT like, was when I started to realize that some of the people I cared about disregarded and were negligent over our friendship or relationship. I felt like I was being abused for the kindness I desired to show the people I cared about. So, imagine the consistent impairment I kept “brushing off” just so I can forgive and forget. After mastering the will of patience, “brushing it off” became so easy and then one day I realized, that the chances are NOT unlimited and you’ll finally have enough. You get a feeling that sounds like a deserted wasteland. There’s nothing there but you know something used to exist in that place of your heart. I cannot explain the feeling but there is absolutely no hostility or resentment. There is no hate but you’ve just reach the point where you have accepted their non-existence. It is like they never happened. You will tell yourself that maybe one day they will come back and you can start over, but now you have reached your new beginning. There is no turning back.
People care way too much about useless things.We ALL care, myself included care about STUPID things. That brings me to the subject of relationships. If you do not trust your man out of sight, then you have a problem. If you get mad at your man for not texting you right away, or if he does not hold your hand in public, well it is a stupid problem to fuss over. If every tweet is about your boyfriend (or even ex-boyfriend) and how he has done you wrong, YOU are the one with the problem. NOW, again, do not get me wrong, there was a point in my life where I did ALL of that and complained about it too. But let me tell you why my relationship is pretty f*cking awesome. I do not need my man to tell me he loves me, because he already shows me by just being with me. Just step outside of yourself and look at who you are. When you critique all of the negative things about you, you will start to realize why your significant other even choose to be with you in the first place. If I ever dated me, I would give me a good slap across the mouth…probably shove some soap down there too. So that’s when I realized, “Wow, my man must really love me if he’s still with me even after acting like a psychopath.” Then you will want to change for them too.
The person I used to be in the beginning of my relationship was a disgusting person. Yeah, there were days where I was a great girlfriend but some things I was not happy with myself about. One day, we broke up. That break up made me step outside of my body and judged who I was. I learned that all these stupid things that people THINK are needed in a relationship…are most definitely NOT NEEDED in a relationship. For example, public affection. SAVE IT FOR THE DAMN ROOM. Affection should only be shown for each other, not for the rest of the world. Don’t snap at your man because he does not want to hold your hand or arm around shoulder type of thing. My boyfriend and I barely touch each other in public. I will probably do an arm cling or hand holding thing once in awhile, but sometimes, he lets me go because I tend to wrinkle his shirts from my tight grip. AND I also tend to get shy since I have sweaty hands. A lot of people assume we are fighting because we do not touch each other and that is fine. Makes you feel special when people care about your relationship so much. *laughs*. And what is with the anger issues with women? Why do you have to be up your boyfriend’s ass about everything he does? He ain’t your Hubby. There is no need for the leash. Okay, he calls you fat. Be mad. You have the right to be mad but then get over it. There must be a reason why he is calling you fat in the first place and not anything else. When my boyfriend says something like that to me, I laugh. Sometimes, I get mad when he crosses the line…but a lot of the things he says just makes me laugh. Instead of getting mad, just prove them wrong. No use in getting mad, because it will take more out of you then them. Love them for who they are. Appreciate what they are able to give you.
Girls. lol. Girls are known to be one of the most dangerous species on earth. We are psycho. But to the girls who are all like “I don’t have a lot of girlfriends just Guyfiends.” First of all, YOU ARE A SLUT….no I’m just kidding lol. But I’ll tell you straight up that you are not strong enough to handle other girl’s prominent personalities. You are intimidated. Possibly Jealous. I used to think that way…then I realized girls, especially the REAL girlfriends…will be your BEST ARMY during rough times. When you have a flock of girls behind you, trust ME. You can achieve anything. Well that is how I feel anyway. You just have to stick with the right girls. Girls talk smack because they can’t handle competition. Turn that competition into collaboration. Even if you can’t be their BFF’s, be civil. Stop wasting your time on these girls, and concentrate on being a better person. People who talk smack get no where in life.
So after you have gotten rid of the usesless anger, the useless jealousy, the useless people who don’t exist in your life, you’ll have some spare time. Use that spare time to chase your dreams, your aspirations, even PAPER. Whatever you desire. At least now you can concentrate on what makes you happy. There is no need to have 1,000 friends. I’m good with having a few friends. I think I can survive even if I had no friends. Get rid of everything toxic. So much weight will be lifted of your shoulders. You’ll feel free. I ALMOST feel free and that’s probably what love is. Just loving life as it is, even if it is not that great.
In the end, it will only be you. Only you can depend on yourself.
